Tuesday, April 30, 2013

The Influence of the Step Parent.....a mommy post!

I never thought I would be someone who got married...then divorced. And God knows everyone was betting that I would never marry again. Well God had a different plan and but a beautiful man in my path that I would again marry. When I met Scott, Brittany was 3 and Jackson was 2 years old. I guess divorcing fast paid off because the kids have never seen me with anyone but Scott. So he has had plenty of time getting to know them from an early age. I won't say every moment  has been easy because we really are all learning from each other on a daily basis. But my husband has been such a big influence in Jacksons life. The other day Jackson asked me...


Jackson - " If something happens to you, could I still live with Scott?" 

Me : " I don't think your daddy would like that." 

Jackson:  " Why not? Scott's my dad too and I should have that choice. "

Me:  " Jackson, your father and I are your parents forever. Your daddy may get a girlfriend one day who might come and go.. but your daddy will stay in your life.. the same with me. I will always be there but others may come and go at times. "

Jackson: " I'm picking Scott's house."

To be very honest, I was not too happy about that statement. I really was thinking.. → I am your Mother and you will stay with ME! ← And I am sure his father feels the same too. But I got thinking about it.. talked to some friends and totally came away with a better understanding of how much Jackson loves Scott. I have been very honest in the past that my stepmother('s) have always been awful to me. I learned how NOT treat  kids because of them. I didn't have the close step parent relationship as Jackson has with Scott. And in my opinion he is much more strict on him than I ever am. He's doesn't whip him or anything like that.. he just has high expectations and Jackson must like that. Go figure. Just the other day Jackson said..

" I feel sorry for Brittany because she is not here living the easy life with us."

He was totally serious...

He gets to live the easy life because Scott pays for all the tv and internet while I run around doing his laundry, cleaning his room, fixing his meals, and helping with homework.. But I am glad he thinks he's living the easy life! (:

Scott's influence has been huge on Jackson. He is making all A's & B's now.. he is also doing better with thinking things through before doing something... but he still has a few issues here and there but I think he is more concerned with making Scott happy that he tries harder than he ever has. 

He's also been golfing more and more.. 


The list goes on and on.. Normally on the weekend the boys take off to the movies for a night together and its such a blessing to have a husband who loves my kids as his own. And to be very honest, he is around Jackson more than any of the other kids, which isn't always easy for them to understand. But his heart is huge and they all have a part of it! 

I think having a strong marriage has been something that Jackson needed in his life. He was living with a single male along with his sister but for him, he needs both a mom and dad in the house. I think it has made a world of difference for him. Scott is very loving an compassionate with Jackson but still stern. While I don't always agree, I think many of his good values are starting to show within Jackson. I keep teasing Scott that Jackson is becoming his " mini me" ... because he really is!

I have talked about this to his dad and he thinks Jackson will understand one day that he just wanted him to be happy and do good... no matter where he lives. My mom fell in love with Scott even more after I told her what Jackson had said. It really does show how much Jackson loves and respects him.



This will also be this weeks Thankful Thursday Post because I am so very thankful for this precious bond between Scott and Jackson. Its truly a blessing.




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8 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    1. It does take time for them to adjust. I remember hearing a long time ago that it takes time for the new adult to build up trust in the child. The more time = more trust. Which is totally understandable. It will work out great and adjustments are totally normal. (:

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    2. SORRY ELIZABETH.. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOUR COMMENT GOT DELETED! BUT HERE IT IS! That's awesome! And very encouraging. My son is 5 and I will be getting married this August to a man who is very enthusiastically taking on the role of co-parent with me. They definitely love each other and I'm sure they too with have the kind of relationship your son and your husband have in another few years. It's tough sometimes because right now we are still going through the adjustments of becoming a family, but it gets better every day.

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  2. This brings tears to my eyes - how lucky that your son and husband are so close! The stepparent/stepchild relationship is so complicated, so it's really tough to get it to work out this well. Seriously - hugs to all of you for doing such an amazing job at creating a fabulous blended family - it is hard, hard work!

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  3. It is wonderful that your husband had taken your son (who he obviously considers his son) under his wing and is giving him what he needs in life--You are truly very lucky to have found such a good man!

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  4. I understand somewhat. I was married ten years, got divorced, and I would have loved to have been married again, but God had other ideas. I'm so glad that your husband has been so supportive.

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  5. This is an awesome post! I too have a beautiful blended family & the kids were young 3 and almost 2 when my hubby and I married. And as you mentioned, we are all learning but it has been awesome because the kids were young; we're all growing up together and loving each other!

    Found you on twitter at #mondaymakeup! Now following you on twitter!
    Natasha @ Lovely You

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