Thursday, May 2, 2013

Theme Thursday : Unorthodox-Parenting


When I got pregnant with Brittnay and then with Jackson... we knew that we would not raise them in a conventional way. We knew from pregnancy on that we didn't want to whip either of th kids. We also knew we didn't want either of them just educated by only the school system. We kinda put out a " Life Plan " for both kids where we do our best to guide them through the tough situations but still let them  find their own way. I have never been a conventional parent. Maybe that is because I grew up in a laid back house where my thoughts and opinions ( even as a child ) were always held high within my family. I wasn't one of those children who wasn't seen or wasn't heard. So it should come to no surprise that I am the same way with my kids. I remember about 3 or 4 years ago at a family dinner, I let my kids have dessert first. A family member of mine just thought that was the worst thing ever. Why I asked?? Well, they are going to eat the dessert stuff first and then not get any of the healthy food. What they failed to realize is.. desserts have been served at the same time as dinner in my home for years and my kids don't always go for the dessert first. But what's wrong with having a piece of cake for dinner every once in awhile? Seriously, why be so damn uptight???? That night the kids both ate their dinner first and then dessert but it was THEIR CHOICE. Its been my experience with the kids that if you give them choices, most of the time they make the right decisions.
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My main goal is not to put my beliefs off on my kids. I am not here to make them who I want them to be. I am here to help guide them through this life so they can become the best adults possible. I don't look at things as many people do. I am not so concerned with every detail but instead I strive to instill confidence, compassion and prayer. Above everything I want my children to learn to love and forgive. I think that is why the kids want to be here more than anywhere else. I think both kids know they can talk to me about anything. And how conventional is it that kids learn the birds and bees from their mom owning a cattery!? Yep I said it.. my kids have been fully educated on sex ed from watching the cats mate and kittens being born! Ha! Not so conventional huh!? See its not about being the textbook cookie cutter parent. Its about being what your kids need. I never tend to worry about what other parents think or do with their kids. Each child is a different challenge and who am I to tell people how to raise their kids? I just try to focus on what works with my own children. Its totally a learning lesson for all of us. I also think so many of us parents judge other parents instead of being supportive. I don't judge any parent..unless of course they are hurting their kids. I hate it when women tear each other down. Do you know how many mommy blogs I have read about some unorthodox parenting situations but instead of that parent getting love and support.. others tear them down in the comments!?  Why is that?  Again, it really does take a village to raise a child so we all should be supporting each other. 

I think growing up with a very big loud family gave me a different outlook on raising kids. But times have changed and we have so many things to worry about with our kids that our parents never had to deal with. Such as all the social media and online bullying which is kinda making us all Unorthodox parents in ways no one ever really expected. And lets not get into the reality shows. Just a month or so ago my 11 year old told me she has no plans for college.. instead she wanted to be a Jersey Shore kid. Well in my unorthodox way, I didn't just blow off her statement. Instead I explained in full that those girls are not who she wants to be and went off on how important education is opposed to being drunk slut. And yes, I said it just like that. In my home, we talk about what is going on in the world. I know so many kids who are sheltered which is fine if that is what their parents want but that's not what I want for my kids. I want them to be aware and smart of the world they are growing up in. I think everything should be age appropriate but I don't think keeping them sheltered from life is the answer to anything. What happens when they have to go out in the world at some point and have no idea how cope with it? I want to be the one that the kids come to with questions to get their answers.. not some peer who has no experience or wisdom. 



There is no one way that I am an Unorthodox parent It's just been pointed out to me many times that I am not your typical mommy. No I am not. What I find important, maybe others don't. And what makes me KNOW what I am doing is right..is how happy the kids are.  My ways may be Unorthodox but for our family, they are working! 

Have a great Thursday! 

K Jaggers


6 comments:

  1. I think the not typical mommies are the best time. And right on, on the Jersey Shore girl explanation. Hopefully that one will be marked indelibly in her mind!

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    1. It better be marked in her mind. No way in hell will she turn out like that!! College is her ONLY option. Thanks for your sweet comment!

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  2. So true! I am a firm believer in doing what is right for your family being different for every family!

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    1. That's right... what works for one of us doesn't always work for the other. I think we just have to try to figure out what works best and stick with it as long as we can.

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  3. The awesome thing about only having a handful of ppl read my blog is that I have gotten nothing but support.
    :)

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    1. I can honestly say I have really only one person who ever leaves anything negative. But I shake it off fast and go on. I don't really worry about what outsiders think. My family loves me and that's all that matters.

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