I don't feel like I have truly taken care of myself in a long long while. Don't get me wrong. I still shower and do all the things that need to get done around the house. I still am making videos almost daily and I try to give my family as much attention as I can. But is that really taking care of myself? I think not. In 2015 I feel like I have been hanging on by a string a lot of days and all aspects of my life have suffered through bumpy times, depression, and even anger sometimes.
I have carved out little time in my life to actually take care of me. What does mean? Anything and everything from painting my nails to getting on the treadmill. In a lot of ways, I have just been going with the motions of day to day life. Living in denial perhaps. I have always known that I had to put the oxygen mask on myself first to be able to take care of the rest of my family but putting it into motion everyday is a little harder. As I think about 2015, I can't help but to think of all the things I want to change going into 2016. I don't want to carry any of the negativity into the new year. I don't want keep putting my own self care and well being on the back burner for anyone else. I don't want to make a list of excuses of why this didn't happen or I didn't get to that. I simply want to change it.
I want to remember that I need to count my blessings not my failures. Self doubt can be overwhelming at times and in 2015 I let it take over. I let others opinions worry me more than my own opinion of myself ever did. Why? Why should it matter what some stranger thinks? I let my own fears run the show and didn't venture out to meet many new people. I let my own sadness hurt this past Thanksgiving. I felt paralyzed of sorts and had no idea why. I let the stresses of our life steal the happy moments of this year. I just didn't put forth the kind of effort for myself that I truly needed to make.
My theme or my word for 2016 is self care. → “Self-care includes any intentional actions you take to care for your physical, mental, and emotional health” ← Sounds pretty simple doesn't it? Do you feel like you took good care of your physical, mental and emotional health during 2015? If so, I bow down to you. It might sound simple but it's been extremely hard to get all 3 straight at the same time! Plus everything else I have to do with the house and the kids.
Right now for me self care includes:
:: Putting my trust in God that he will lead me down the right path.
:: Getting a good nights sleep. Really, a good nights sleep with a full 8 hours.
: Working out more. Being consistent.
:: Making the Dr. Apt for all the things I need to discuss.
:: Not letting others ( hate gossipers ) steal my happiness with their snarky lies, speculation and ridicule.
:: Saying no instead of yes when its something I really don't want to do.
:: Figuring out how to forgive more quickly.....just let it go.
:: Spending less time in my planner and more time doing.
:: Making more time to be the mom and wife my family deserves.
:: Trying to make more of an effort to actually look a little nicer. Sweats and yoga pants are A-ok but my hair is totally a different story.
:: Sticking to a homemaking schedule that allows me to get things done so they don't pile up with me feeling like a failure because I didn't get to it.
:: Journaling more to express my thoughts and feelings in a healthy kind of way.
:: Being more patient with everyone in the family. I need patience. I don't have much of it but for 2016 I am going to really try.
:: Accept that not everyone is going to like me. I have a older son who is a part of that hate club and while it breaks my heart, I have to accept it for my own well being. Hopefully he will come around when he is ready.
:: Replace as many bad habits I have with good ones.
:: Blog more because I love it and it makes me happy. Same with the videos but I have to stay off the hate sites. I never want to read their garbage again.
:: Be more honest with myself about my life and my blessings.
:: Sticking to a day when I can dedicate some extra time to myself to do things that I always put off. Nails, haircuts, working out, cleaning my purse out. Instead in 2016 I fumbled through every purse I used when looking for my keys.
:: Writing more letters. I want to get back to the simple basics. Paper and pen work just fine for me. I love email. The convenience is amazing but actually taking the time to get out some pretty stationary and good pen with just my thoughts.
:: Make sure to stick to date night with Scott once a month. A lot of times we fail miserly at making it actually happen month after month. Gotta look out for my marriage as well.
:: Learn more self control in every aspect of my life.
I think self care can continue in so many ways. For years I have put off having a vision board. It sounds like such an easy thing to start but I haven't ever done it. I have a lot that I want to accomplish with my life and things I want to happen. Maybe it's time I actually get that board made so I can concentrate on some of the things I really want to make happen. I also want a prayer room in my home. I doubt I will get it here in this house, but if I try hard enough, I bet I can have something like what I want. It's a start. That's where I am. At the beginning of self care. I have so much that I could put on that list but I think you get the point. It's about truly caring about myself and taking care of myself to a degree much higher than where I have been. I want to feel refueled and recharged each day instead of dragging myself out of the bed. I want to actually take time to read a real book. Not a magazine. Not a book on my kindle. Just a real book. I want to smile and laugh more. I want cherish every moment God gives me on this planet. But it has to start with me. I have to focus on what really matters in order to accomplish my goals. It might sound a bit cheesy but I want to make my life better....in every way.
It's not going to be an easy process but those my thoughts on self care through out the new year. I love a new year. I love every chance for fresh starts. The first of the month, the beginning of each day, even Mondays and of course a new year! I want to jump right in and get a jump start on living life to the fullest. Don't get me wrong, we had a great Thanksgiving, Christmas, in spite of my lack of self care. I'm really glad for the opportunity to get so low so I can better appreciate rising up again.... And I have been feeling better lately! These are not exactly my reflections for December or my resolutions/goals for 2016. It's a long term life plan to self care. So here's to a brand new start, and thank you so much for continuing to support and encourage, and follow along!!