A Fresh Start

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Hello friends :) It's been over 2 months since I have sat down at this keyboard and posted anything to this blog. I am not actually sure why except I needed the break. I still don't know how often I will be here sharing details of my life but I hope to come around more often and try to re-connect to not only this blog but to you guys as well. I really did love sharing here. Making videos became stressful but this blog has been such a love of mine for so many years now. After Scott, I just wasn't sure I should or could continue writing here. But after a lot of thought and prayer I decided to keep this space. This has been my journey shared here and some of the people who has shared in blog posts are no longer in my life for one reason or another. I think you will see though that true family is still around. And don't just think of family as blood. I have a full circle who has stuck around through it all. Just as many of you. This is and has been my little space for documenting my life. Not always exciting or happy but real....love it or hate it....take it or leave it. 

At this point I share less ( obviously ) and that is because not everything needs to be shared. A powerful lesson that I should have learned years ago. I am going to try to keep things more upbeat with maybe the occasional bitch fest in Tuesday Truths.:) I want to keep this blog from getting out of control like it once did. Divorce is never easy. I do cherish the good days we shared but I am never going to share again like I did during that period. In fact, some of those posts and videos are already gone. It wasn't some of my best moments. I overshared and I regret it. No one made me do it. I wore my heart on my sleeve and blogging during that time was a big outlet. Soooo many of you reached out to me with your own life journeys offering every kind of support you could. I appreciate it all but again, I regret sharing so much. 

As life has moved on, I find myself in a new relationship that I am more protective of. I have shared photos and little clips of our life on instagram but for the most part, I have kept offline. Its about learning lessons of the past. It was interesting the other night when Ryan and I went out with my mom and Don. Don pointed out that things are so different in terms of my attitude and happiness. It made me wonder how much Scott and I really didn't get along. The anger is gone. I am not the same person and I am thankful everyday that I don't live the same way now. The stress is so much less than it was before. And guess what!? I am dealing with a lot more now. So as life moves on, we will see where it goes. I don't pretend to know the future. Anything can happen at any time but I feel confident that the future is filled with love and happiness and that's all I can ask for. 

I have been so much busier during this stage of my life. I was working for a long bit and actually found a job that was nice and easy and rather enjoyable. That took up a lot of time and it was really hard to balance my time. I never thought there were enough hours in the day. I still don't. I still have trouble balancing my time. But I am not working at the moment so there is a little more time. I am on the couch and in the bed more than ever. It's very hard being on bedrest when there is so much to get done. But I am being very careful and whenever I get tired I lay down. I get out a very little bit but again, it's done at such small intervals. To be expecting at this age, is hard and painful to tell the truth but I don't regret it at all. I am beyond excited. Ryan is over the moon happy and our family will surround this new addition in love and kindness. I have no doubts. This little boy is loved so much now and none of us has met him yet! I will try to get a pregnancy update filmed sometime soon. It doesn't take much effort to sit and talk so I think I will be safe filming. And I would like to catch up. At this point I am 32 weeks and I am praying that he stays put for a while longer. Again, I am just trying to be careful and trusting in God. 

 I didn't plan all the different things that has happened when I started blogging, and these feelings of vulnerability, grief, heartache, and fear that have been so strong since Scott dying.  Honestly they've kept me from typing like this and sharing online over and over again. But it doesn't go away, the need to share. I'm going to try harder to type more as I've promised so many times in the past. I'm going to try to take more pictures, to share more favorites, to cook more. I'm also going to hope more, and to simply be brave. Not because I expect to make any great difference moving forward or because you need me or my writings at all, but because I need you... now more than ever. You have been my village for a very long time and I couldn't be more grateful for everything you have helped us get through. This is not a space for judgement, ridicule and meanness. This is my little spot and I will not let it be abused like that. It's my hope that you will continue this journey with me and somehow find some inspiration and joy from the posts to come. I want you to be active in this blog. Leave your comments. Let me know your thoughts....lets lift each other up.  

Thank you so much for reading if you've made it this far, and again, please excuse the rambly posts from here on out:) I love you guys. Have a great week. And please come back....there will be more. 

Pregnancy Update | Video | 22 Weeks

Monday, August 14, 2017

Hello and happy Monday to all of you. I am so happy to be back to sharing videos and blog posts. Today I am sharing a bit of a longer video going over how things have been going since week 18. I got a little behind and so much has happened. I tried to go over everything in this video below....hope you enjoy! 

Thank you guys for being so kind and supportive. I am over the moon excited about our little baby growing and moving all around. Everyday I feel him and I am just doing my best to get through each day without ending up back in the hospital. I am still in shock this is all happening but this is what God intended and I am not going to question it at this point. I am just going to keep looking forward to the future and the joy this baby boy will bring to our family. 

I am going to do my best to start making more videos....and more blog posts. Thank you for sticking around and being patient with me! I hope you have a beautiful and blessed day! 

Catching Up....4 Videos in one Post! :)

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Hi friends! Boy it has really been a while since I have posted anything here on this blog. I'm sorry for that. So much has gone on....and I always feel limited on time. So tonight I am sharing 4 videos in one post. Two pregnancy updates, a video looking back over this past year and even a food haul. I thought that this would be the simplest way to catch up this blog of mine so I can start posting more current videos. So here, you go! Most recent from the top down. Hope you enjoy!

Pregnancy Skin Care Routine | Video |

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Hello friends! I hope you are having a wonderful Wednesday. Before I get going with all today offers, I thought I would share my newest video. This time I am going over my pregnancy skin care routine. However, these products would work great if you are expecting or if you are not. Hope you enjoy! 

I don't have the best skin....that's for sure! But with the help of all these products, I have seen improvements. I love that most of these are natural and safe to use during pregnancy and still effective. Let me know what is working for you if you feel like sharing! xx

Pregnancy Update - Week 15 - Video

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Hello friends! I am back with my 15 week pregnancy update. It's crazy how fast time is flying by! I am so happy being able to share all my pregnancy updates with you guys. I do understand if this is not the kind of video you enjoy....if so check out my playlist on youtube to see if you can find something more suitable to your own lifestyle. Here is how week 15 went. Hope you enjoy! 

I am starting to finally feel better. I am hoping to get back into the swing of things around the house and with my videos. We are so excited about our new little baby coming into this world. Thank you guys for taking this journey with us. See ya soon!

Chit Chat Vlog | Catching Up |

Monday, June 26, 2017

Hello everyone. I have been so off schedule here lately. I really can't explain it. But I had a lot I wanted to chat with you guys about....so here we go! Hope you enjoy. 

I hope this video clears a few things up and lets you guys know that everything is fine. I am slowly starting to catch up and hopefully I can get more videos out soon. ♥ Have a beautiful night.

Pregnancy Updates Week 13 & 14 | Videos |

Hello friends! Thank you for stopping by today. In an effort to finally get caught up on posting my videos over here, you are getting 2 updates in one post! This first update is of week 13 of my pregnancy. It's been so fun sharing my symptoms and happenings of this pregnancy with you. Hope you enjoy! 

And we are moving right along. Here we are moving into the next week. Small changes but still there are some changes happening. 

Here's more about week 14! :) Hope you enjoy the video  

Thank you so much for coming by and checking out these videos. It's been strange being pregnant again and feeling so much. But with each passing day, there are new symptoms, new appointments, new hopes and new experiences. We are very excited about our little boy coming to the world and I love being able to share it with you! xx

Quick Little Food Haul | Video |

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Hello friends! I haven't been sharing all my hauls here lately but I thought it would be fun to share this little one. Hope you enjoy! 

Thanks for stopping by and checking things out. I should have another haul up later this week! Have a beautiful weekend! 

Reality Check...

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Happy weekend friends! It feels like it's been forever since I have sat down at my computer and just escaped into just writing...writing what I am experiencing, feeling, doing. I have been looking around at the craziness of life lately and starting to understand that I just have to roll with the busy days. Roll with the slow days when naps are all I seem to fit in on the schedule. Life has changed so much this past year, this past month and even this past month. I have come to accept that plans change sometimes and it's better to go into everything with as much as a positive attitude as possible. 

Every once in a while I get to a point where I simply lack motivation for getting things done. I don't know what really causes it but I know for me, how I feel has a lot to do with life stresses. Since the very beginning of my pregnancy, I have felt anxious, tired, emotional and even stressed at what the future holds. I am beyond excited but still worried. I have let negative energy take over on certain days and let it strip me of all happiness. Which also leads to the lack of motivation I have been feeling. It's difficult to read, hear negativity and not let it affect your life. I cannot help to delete comments and negativity when it shows up on instagram, facebook and in some of my youtube comments. While I understand sharing on youtube gives certain people the ability to judge and spread hate, I have enjoyed it over all. Youtube and this blog has been such a supportive community, but there are days when I know I must pull back. Things will never stop coming at me or my family, so we have to guard our private time more than ever. I have realized that just sharing some of my favorite moments on my private facebook page is better than sharing it with the world only to be judged by people who are not friends. Ryan has even locked down his facebook because of drama and speculation on his life...our life. It's sad that it has come to this but there really is no room in our lives for negativity, for drama, for hate. 

Since quitting my job and being home I have really been trying to  take it slow, but things just seem to come out of nowhere and fill up my days anyways. I have been spending more and more time with Laura and the little kids. Our teenagers seem to always be busy and not wanting to hang out with their parents and family. It's hard to accept at times but as long as they know I love them...and they are happy, thats all that truly matters. Right now the little kids find everything intriguing and inspiring. Fun and new. And Ryan and I have been spending a lot of quality of time together and that doesn't always happen on the busy days. So I am grateful for the days when I am going on a bit of a slower schedule. Actually, I haven't been on much of a schedule at all. I have actually been kinda lost on random days. That's what actually brings me to this post.

I have been slowing down on what I share. On this blog, youtube, instagram. For instance the other day I was at the doctors office and just got one photo in because my DR came in so fast and did everything so fast that I didn't get to film it or get many photos. So I share a picture from the office laying on table, a picture from the first time I heard the heartbeat and a belly shot of another person who is about the same size as I am that was a stock photo. Well you would have thought I committed a crime posting that photo when all I really wanted to do was let everyone know how well the appointment went. I went on and took it down because I just felt like it was bringing too much negativity. I don't think any of us should have to delete things to make ourselves or others feel better but sadly its the case sometimes. I have tons of vlogging footage that I would love to share but I am just keeping it to myself until I feel comfortable sharing again. I do plan on still making videos and hopefully get back on track with this blog but with caution. I have to protect my family. They are the most important part of my life and don't deserve to be dragged through the mud. Enough is enough. Know that I am actively moderating comments here and will only allow those that are kind and understanding. Constructive criticism of my blog and videos is of course allowed and encouraged but negative comments with no purpose other than to spread hate and pain will be not be approved. And these changes are starting to happen now. 

Everything has slowed down and almost stopped in some regards. I have fallen off routines and schedules. I haven't been using my planner as much. I have found myself struggling to just keep up with normal household duties. I am really trying to focus on getting back on track. I have seen too many times what depression and anxiety can do and it's not easy to climb out of. I am going to keep focusing on what really matters and share only what I am comfortable with. This will of course lead to speculation about my health, my family, my relationships but it is what it is. And while I find my motivation and focus there are going to be days when the house is not picked up. When the laundry is not done and I am not less than for not accomplishing those goals and tasks. I am going to keep doing the best I can. I am not going to make promises about posting schedules and things I have figured out. I simply don't have that much planned out. I am content not knowing what each day holds at this moment in time. I have been enjoying being off work but that can't and won't last forever. I actually enjoyed being out with the people in my community and actually miss it some days. But right now, running through the forest with my grandchildren, enjoying evenings with Ryan and listening to my teenagers on the phone ramble on are some of the best moments that fill my heart with love. 

I don't have my shit together every single day and I am not going to pretend. Life can be a real struggle but at the same time so rewarding. I am just hoping to find balance within all of it. There are so many things I want to get done. So many changes I want to make to all areas of my life. I will share when I can, when I feel comfortable. And for those of you who are still around, I love you. Thank you for taking this journey with me. And for those of you who are new, hang around and check things out. :) Hopefully, I will get my crazy life under control where I have more time and energy to share. 

Thank you for being a part of this journey with me.  I can’t wait to see where this path takes me next.  

Gender Reveal!!!!! | Video |

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Hello friends! I am back finally sharing the gender reveal. I said I would share it today and here it is...it's a quick little video confirming what many of you already thought. Hope you enjoy!

Thank you guys for following along and supporting me. Life has certainly has given me it's share of ups and downs. I never imagined this is where my life would be at this point. Through all the heartbreak, anger, confusion, and even death.....a new life is on the way. I couldn't be more happy! Hope you have a great day! 

Fun Gender Prediction Wives Tales! :) | VIDEO |

Saturday, June 3, 2017

Hello friends! I hope you are having a wonderful weekend. Before I go on and share the gender of our little baby, I thought we would try out some old wives tales! These were fun....but were they accurate!? Hope you enjoy! 

Thank you so much for stopping by and checking out the video. It's been so hard knowing the sex and not sharing it. Don't worry the next video will be the gender reveal! I'll talk to you soon. xx

Friday Letters ♥

Friday, June 2, 2017

Happy Friday Friends! I am back with another edition of Friday Letters. Hope you enjoy! 

Dear God, Thank you for another week on this planet. I know you are in control of everything and I am putting all my trust in you. Thank you for listening to my prayers. 

Dear Brittany, I can't always drop everything for you. I know that I have almost every time you needed something. But there are times....like yesterday when I just couldn't do that. That doesnt mean I don't love you. That doesn't mean I am not there for you. It simply means I could not do it. I have loved you from the second I found out I was pregnant to know and every moment in between. Don't ever forget that but understand sometimes I will say no. 

Dear Ryan, I love you sweetheart. It's crazy how people make stuff up about us...about our relationship...about you. It must be hard for some to realize we are together because we want to be together. I love the life we are building and I am so excited about our baby. We are so intertwined and have been since we were in kindergarten. Maybe no one will truly understand but who cares. Thank you for loving me back.

Dear Jackson, I am so happy you are getting some time with grandma. I hope you are making a ton of great memories.  love you so much and I am sorry if I ever made you feel less than at times. I am not perfect but I am very thankful you are my son and I wouldn't change it for anything. 

Dear Laura, You mean the world to me. I know it's strange to some. But you are one of my kids rather people like it or not. I am proud of you. I am proud of how strong you are. I am proud of how hard you work and shuffling kids back and forth. I love you and I will always be there for you and the kids until my last breath. 

Dear New Baby on the Way, helllooooo. I can't wait to meet you. I think you are the same baby...same soul that has been trying to come into the world since 2003. I have thought about you everyday for years. I have asked for forgiveness on so many levels and maybe just maybe with you on the way now, God has forgiven me for my mistakes. I am so excited to welcome you to our loud crazy life. We will love you forever and I can't wait till you are in my arms. 

Dear Mom, thank you for being so supportive. I know you love me. I know that you support me. I really would be lost without you. 

Dear Laci, its been nice talking to you here lately. We need to make time for each other more. I am so happy you are in love and happy! 

Dear Shanna, it breaks my heart what Emily has been going through. I know she has been in a lot of pain....BUT I know it will pass and she will be ok....better in the coming years. I love you guys. You are also my family forever. 

Dear Zane, I think about you often. I hope you are doing ok. I know you miss your dad and a part of me misses him too at times. I know you are smart and strong. Remember, you still have a big future ahead of you. I also hope to send you something special sometime in the near future. Brittany and Jackson ask about you all the time and miss you too. 

Dear Dad, I miss you everyday. I wish you were here. I wish I could put this new baby in your arms. I wish I was sitting around the kitchen table with you laughing. I wish we could listen to your war stories. I wish I could talk to you about everything. I mean I kinda do already but I really do anything just to get a few minutes of your time. I can't wait to see you again one day. 

Dear Jerred, you are my family as well. I hope you are ok...actually I hope you are better than ok. Your family and kids miss you. I hope you come home and really change your life for the better. We love you. 

Dear Blog and Youtube friends, as you can see, I only have the people who mean the absoutle most to me on here today. No long ramblings about Donald Trump or things I hate. Instead just love. And really you guys have helped me focus on just the good so thank you. I love you guys. The amount of support compared to the misinformed haters is leaps and bounds. Thank you thank you thank you. I love you guys right back. 

Thanks for stopping by today. New video coming soon! xx

Pregnancy Q & A → 1st Trimester ←

Thursday, June 1, 2017

Hello friends! I hope you are having a wonderful evening. I normally post my pregnancy updates on Thursday but today I am switching it up! Don't worry the update will be up tomorrow. :) So I have got a lot of questions regarding this pregnancy and I thought I would just sit down and make this video for you guys! 

Thank you so much for stopping by! I hope you really enjoyed this video. I will do another question and answer sometime in the 2nd trimester. So gather your questions up between now and then and make sure I get them! Have a great night. xx

11 Week Pregnancy Update | Video |

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Hello friends! I hope you are having a beautiful night. I am back sharing one of my favorite kinds of videos.....my 11th week pregnancy update. I love making these videos and being able to look back and compare weeks. This is such an exciting time in our lives and sharing it with you all is a honor. This is how week 11 went. Hope you enjoy! 

Even though we had a bit of a scare, hearing that sweet innocent heartbeat made everything better. This little baby is growing each day. Everything is changing and I couldn't be happier. Thanks so much for stopping by. I love you guys. 

Recent Empties | Video |

Hello everyone. It's been a long while since I have shared a recent empties video. I save items up and share them when I have a nice amount. Please don't think I am not rinsing out the milk containers and such if I plan on keeping them. Here are some of the products I recently used up....household, pet and beauty. Hope you enjoy!

Thanks so much for taking the time to stop in. I love you guys and appreciate all your support. Have a great evening. xx

What I Ate....Pregnancy Edition | Video |

Hello friends! I hope you are having a great day! I am back sharing a what I ate pregnancy edition. I know these are not the same as my old cooking videos but I still enjoyed sharing. Hope you enjoy it too. 

I don't always eat the healthiest or drink enough water but I am trying to eat less processed foods. The changes may seem small but they do count! Thanks for stopping by...I'll see ya soon! xx

Friday Letters

Friday, May 19, 2017

Happy Friday Friends! Here is another edition of Friday letters. Hope you enjoy! 

Dear God, I know more than anything in my soul that you exist. I feel the gift you have given to me growing inside my body. Please keep the baby safe as well as all the other kids in our family. That's my concern. Thank you for listening to my prayers. 
Dear Romeo, you wake me up every morning. I don't even need the alarm clock at this point. I love you kitty cat. 
Dear House, I hope you are the one. Fingers crossed! 
Dear Ryan, I love you. I have only love a couple of men my entire life and you are the one I have loved the longest. Can you believe how long we have been in each others lives? I should have known that it would be you. It's been you since I have been 5 years old. I really do love you and thank you for loving me back. 
Dear Mom, it's fun watching you travel around. I am glad you are having a fun. You and Don deserve it. I love you. 
Dear Sunshine, I loooove you! You make me feel so much better. 
Dear Jackson, we need to spend more time together. I know you love all the boy things you do with your dad but could you please make time to hang out with me a little more. I miss you and love you. 
Dear Car, you really need to be cleaned out.....maybe later today. 
Dear Trina, I still don't know why you are so obsessed. You are a grown woman who has her own life. Stay out of mine. You get it wrong more than you get it right. I have never ever weighed 150 lbs. Never. That probably is what one of your thighs weigh. Just stop already. It's more than apparent why you have no friends. Do what you should do and go on with your life. We both loved him. We are not in competition. He is gone. I have moved on and you should too. And honest to God, hasn't he put us and our families through enough?? You don't have to continue the bad bazaar behavior. Be free and happy for once in your life. 
Dear Work, I almost quit this week. Someone really upset me but instead of acting out of anger, I just stayed calm and got through it. One day at a time. 
Dear Laura, I am proud of you for working hard and getting it done. You are a good mom, a good daughter and I love you very much. 
Dear Stomach, please calm down. I have only had a little coffee at this point and I would like to keep it down. 
Dear Stephanie, I love you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Dear Nails, you are really growing and looking so nice. I am so happy there are no more acrylics on top of you. They served their purpose but now it's just us. Stay strong please! 
Dear Brittany, I am so proud of you. Thank you for helping me with the groceries yesterday. Sorry about making your dad mad.....thanks for taking one for Gabby! I love you and will see you in a few hours. 
Dear Baby in my body, I have waited for you since 2003. I have lost you twice and all I want is for you to grow inside of me and come join our family when you are ready. There are a lot of people waiting to meet and love you. My belly is growing and I just feel so happy. I can't wait to meet you.
Dear Donald Trump and Mike Pence, keep doing what you are doing dumb men. You are actually walking yourselves right into impeachment....just stay on that path please. :)
Dear Dad, I miss you everyday. I know you have already met this baby. I hope when my time comes, you are the one who escorts me to the other side. Come see me in my dreams. 
Dear Maekenzie, your daddy loves and misses you. We hope you are making the right decisions and doing good. Make time to come visit. 
Dear Smart TV, I loooove you! I barely watch regular tv at this point. 
Dear Shanna, Thank you for always listening to me. I love you. You are one of the best friends any girl could ask for. 
Dear Grandma Mary, like a few other of my family members who are no longer here....you live inside of me and will till my last breath. Thank you for trusting me with your life story. I know was never easy for you to open up. However, because you did with me....you impacted my life forever. And forever you will live inside of my heart...my soul. I miss you. I really miss you. 
Dear Beth, I am sorry about that pitbull. Just stay away from her as much as possible. Thank you for everything you have done for me. 
Dear Baby Names, we are having the hardest time with you. I like Ophelia and Adeline for a girl....and AJ and Grayson for a boy. Ryan has other picks he likes. I have no idea how we are going to figure this out! Hopefully this gets easier. 
Dear Laci, I am glad you have found love and are happy! I can't wait to meet him. I love you. 
Dear Future Work & Schedule, I am trying to figure out a new way of living after the baby comes. I don't want it with other people more than it's with Ryan or myself. So maybe I work nights when Ryan can take care of the baby. Whatever it takes, I will do. Please work out for me. Give me the right opportunity please! 
Dear Youtube friends, sorry I said Tylenol and Advil in that update. I am not taking advil. I only take Tylenol. I think it was just out of habit that I said that.  I am being as careful as I can. Thank you guys for watching and having concern. That's why I love you. Hope you have a great day. xx

10 Week Pregnancy Update! | Video |

Hello friends and happy Friday to you all! I am back today with my 10 week pregnancy update. I love sharing these updates. I look forward to going back and checking them out once the baby is here. I take you through all my symptoms along with much much more. Hope you enjoy! 

This is such an exciting time in our lives. Everyone in the family are happy about a new little baby joining our family. I am finally starting to show. I have 2 more weeks until I am in my 2nd trimester! I am starting to have less and less morning sickness and I really appreciate that. Thanks for stopping by and checking out this video. There will be a new one up next Thursday! :)

Tea Time with Kisha | Video |

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Hello friends! It's been such a long time since I have posted a Tea Time Video. I absolutely love tea and I thought I would share some new favorites as well as some oldies but goodies! Hope you enjoy! 

I know I use to have such detailed blog post to go with each video. However, life is always changing. Either I am working or spending time with my family. I am also 11 weeks pregnant today and I am sleeping more and more. I just simply don't have the time like I use to. But I am working harder on getting more videos up. Thank you so much for stopping by. I love you guys and will have another video up very soon! xx

Large Meijer Shopping Haul | Video |

Monday, May 15, 2017

Hello friends! I hope you are having a great evening. I am back sharing a new Meijer shopping haul. I got a little bit of everything it seems! I share with you some upcoming meals and everything I got. Hope you enjoy!

I felt so out of breath when I was making this video. It's just the way it is right now but I did enjoy sharing it. :) Thanks so much for watching. I'll see ya soon! xx

♥ 9 Week Pregnancy Update ♥ Video

Friday, May 12, 2017

Hello everyone! I hope you are having a great day. I am back sharing a new pregnancy update going over week 9. I love being able to record these videos with all the symptoms and everything going to have to look back on one day. I also love being able to share this experience with you too. Here is how week 9 has been going. Hope you enjoy! 

This is such an exciting time in my life. I know some think I am crazy having a baby at 41 and even talking about having more afterwards. You never know right!? I am excited about adding to our family. I think Ryan and the kids feel exactly the same. Life is ever changing...ever growing and full of surprises. Thanks so much for stopping by. I'll see ya soon plus have another update for you next week! xx

Two Recent Food Hauls { Video }

Monday, May 8, 2017

Hello friends! I am back finally sharing a new food and household haul. I actually went to the store since the first haul and just decided to share them both in one video. Hope you enjoy!

I am actually overdue for a trip to the store. We tend to eat out a lot on the weekends because it's long work days for me. But I'll be sure to share the next haul. Thanks for watching. I'll see ya soon! 

What's in my Purse | Teddy Blake |

Hello friends! I hope you are having a wonderful evening. I am back sharing a new handbag that I love. I also share what I am currently carrying in this beautiful handbag. Hope you enjoy. More below including a discount code. 

I must say, I did not buy this bag. It was sent to me to review and share from Teddy Blake.  I think the bag is beautiful and timeless.

It's handmade in Italy. It has round handles and a detachable shoulder strap. And it even has a cute little lock that works on the toggle clasp.

Here is some information from the company: 

Designer handbags - Made in Italy - 100% Leather
Shop here:  http://bit.ly/TeddyBlake_Kisha
Caty Vintage 12" in Brown Leather
Sign up to Enjoy up to 35% off sitewide
USE CODE:   TBKisha20   for extra $20 off!!
Follow Teddy Blake on Social Media:

Teddy Blake makes some beautiful handbags. I also understand they are a bit expensive but each handbag is worth it. I think it's ok to treat yourself to a gift every once in a while that will last a lifetime. I think the handbag I got goes great with my planners and wallet. I am very thankful to be able to review this for you. Let me know if you have any questions. xx

Friday Letters ♥

Friday, May 5, 2017

Happy Friday friends! Here is another edition of Friday Letters. Hope you enjoy! 

Dear God, thank you for keeping the kids safe. I put my trust in you every single day. Thank you for listening to my prayers. Dear Rain, you are so cold today. I wish you would just go away and warm up. Dear Work, having a couple days off has been so nice and much needed. Dear Mom, I hope you had an amazing birthday. I love you. Dear Ryan, thank you for being so sweet. I love cuddling up with you in bed and dreaming away. It's so nice you are off work today with me. I love you and I am so excited about our little baby that's on the way! Dear Republicans, you are such a disgrace to our country. Now you want to pass a law that  would allow insurance companies to treat rape, pregnancy complications and post-partum depression like pre-existing conditions. It takes away money from special education and Planned Parenthood. If the AHCA was enacted today, millions of Americans would lose health insurance and millions of Americans would die horrible deaths from completely treatable diseases. I think you are so freaking dumb and I wish Obama would come back and make everything ok again. Dear Jackson, I am so happy that you are excited about going and traveling around with my mom for a month. I hope you have a wonderful time and make lots of great memories. I love you sweet boy. Dear Youtube, I am working hard on getting caught up videos. It always seems that there are less hours in the day. Dear Laci, so happy you have met someone! I hope it all works out. And that spa vacation sounds really nice about right now! Dear Kitchen, I clean you...and you get messed up. The story of my life. Why can't you just be self cleaning like the oven!? Dear New Baby, I am so excited about meeting you. I know that you are coming into a complicated world but know your dad and I will do everything to protect you and love you...till the end of time. Just keep growing and we will see each other around Christmas. And it would really be interesting if you arrived on my late brothers birthday! I already love you so much. Dear Maekenzie, I know we all sound like we are bitching but the truth is...we just want what's best for you. We are very thankful you are home safe and sound. Please don't scare us like that again. You have a huge life in front of you. Take advantage of it. Dear Scott,  sometimes I actually feel guilty trying to make a life with Ryan and be happy. However, I know that you loved me and would want me to not be sad forever. I know things got bad between us in the end but I also know it was your addiction that was taking over. I hope you are at peace and I hope you know that I did love you regardless of all the bad things that happened. None of it really matters anyway at this point. But you are missed by many and I am happy. I am truly happy and I hope you can see that. Dear Apartment, You have been a safe place...a stepping stone and I hope soon we can find a house where we all can be together. Thank you for keeping us warm, safe, and happy. Dear Brittany, good luck with the cheer tryouts today! I love you sweetheart! Dear Cooper, I hope you are ok. I miss your sweet face. I am sorry your family broke up and you ended up God knows where. Just know, you are forever in my heart. Dear Beth, thank you for all you do for me at work. I know Tuesday was intense and I appreciate you covering my ass. Thank you so much. And the same goes to Marla. See ya tomorrow.! Dear Hair, I wish you would just hurry up and grow completely out. I am hating the layers!  Dear Trina, I hate wasting my time on your ass but I just to tell you a few things....you are troll who lies for sport. Scott did love me. He married me. He would never pay for a divorce that was not based on a true marriage. We did have sex and you know it. We were together for longer than any relationship you have had. You enjoy the attention from the trolls because you have NO friends. You are raising your grandson because your kid is a POS stripper/prostitute.  You are a raciest and have said the n word sooooo many times yet you are in charge of a mixed baby. Gosh... I feel sorry for him and you are just full of hate. And what about the first kid that you threw away? I can see straight through your glass house. You will never ever get the ashes from me. Glad you called Laura because I would soon put them in the litter box before handing them to you. I hope you go on with your miserable self and life and leave me alone. You are not worth my energy and you know what? You should not be wasting your energy on me. Dear Planners, I have got to make more time for you. I feel like I am getting a little behind. Dear Dad, I miss you...everyday. I know you have already met our baby and I know you can see everything. There are days when tears just flow down my face because I miss you so much. I will never forget you or the love you showed me. Dear bladder, I know little baby Harshey is only the size of a pecan so I don't understand why you feel so full ALL OF THE TIME. A catheter seems like it would be easier. Dear Car, I want to get rid of you so badly. I think I am going to really start working on it. Dear Life, you have such a weird way of working out. I would have never guessed things would be the way they are right now. But I am happy, safe and loved. God does always have a plan. Dear Self, remember that an eye for an eye is not always best. Resist the tempation to fight back. Just focus on yourself and your family and let everyone else do them. Have faith. Dear Youtube and Blog friends, I love you guys. Thank you for being such a loving and supportive community to me. I am always amazed by your comments and emails. You always give me the push I need. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 

Guess What!? We're Expecting! ♥

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Hello friends! I hope you are having a wonderful day! I am back sharing some very exciting news. Ryan and I are expecting...again! I was going to wait to share this wonderful news but after going to the Dr, I changed my mind! I have so much I want to share with you about this pregnancy. I have been recording little clips along the way and I put them all together going over the 1st 9 weeks of my pregnancy. Hope you enjoy!

I fell so deeply in love when I saw our baby not only at the hospital but also at my OB office. When I heard the strong heartbeat with my own ears, tears just started running down my face. It's one of the most beautiful sounds you could ever hear. Ryan feel in love that day too. Fell in love with the baby, the idea of a new family member coming to join us. Fell in love with being a new dad. We are both over the moon excited. Both of us are understandably nervous but there is nothing to compare to the joyful feelings we both have. There have been some hard situations in our family the past couple of weeks but all has calmed down and I thought I am so excited to be sharing this wonderful news with you all. All of you have been so loving and supportive. I know right now that I am going to need your advice and comments along the way. So many of you have been with me since the beginning and I am excited that we are going to enter a new chapter together. I will be doing more baby related videos and such in the near future. There is so much I want to share. Please get subscribed.  I love you guys. xx