Hello friends! I hope you are having a wonderful Monday. I am back today with my latest DITL Vlog and a new week in review. It's been a while since I have got one of these up for you guys. Lots of photos and me rambling on. Hope you enjoy!
I decided after a while of no videos that I would just come back with a new ditl vlog. I don't plan on doing anymore than one a week if that. I hope to get other videos up as well. Here is a little bit of how things have been going.
Right now in the middle of the school year there hasn't been a lot of time for fun but it doesn't matter. We are still all getting to spend time with each other and finding joy even in the smallest of things.
I simply need to balance my time more because I miss doing the fun things. We need more family days. We just do. I tend to smile a lot more when the kids are around. The girls and Jackson just bring a new breath of fresh air to my life. And for that alone I am so grateful.
This past week as also hard and sad when I had to pick up Scotts ashes from the funeral home. I never imagined I would have to do that. I am still not sure what to do with him but in time we will figure that out. I think the ripple effect from his death will last a very long time with his kids and grand children. They will never know him and the kids that do remember will always miss him.
Laura and I still spend a lot of time together. I see her daily and it has given me more time with my grand children. They are growing up so fast. I guess I am trying to love Laura and the kids enough for both of us. Laura is one of the best people I know. I also moved back here for her them as well. We are family and I don't think that will ever change.
I always wanted a houseful of girls. Always. I might not have had them myself but with Laura, her daughters, Ryan's daughter and Brittany along with Brittany's best friend Kenzie I am surrounded with amazing girls. They make me smile all the time.
I have been struggling to find a good balance between work, kids, the animals, family. Just like the rest of you! On my days off I tend to run errands and clean. The apartment is smaller which helps a lot but even my days off are not just lounging days anymore.
I am so happy we finally got a vacuum. It was fine borrowing Laura's all the time but its nice having one here. Little by little I am trying to rebuild, grow stronger and more confident. It just feels weird being my age starting over. But it's also a little empowering.
I don't particularly like cooking that much. I guess I got use to not cooking much when I was in the camper. Ryan prefers dinner a little more than I do! But I am slowly getting back in the grocery store again so I can make dinner for us. He's actually bringing back a little stability in my life. And God knows that's a tall order for anyone.
I will hopefully have some new food hauls and recipes up soon for you guys too. I also plan on putting up a new tea video sometime soon sharing my favorites. Maybe I'll include a giveaway as well! :)
Life around here has been pretty busy and calm all at the same time. The cats seem to be adjusting to everything just fine. Gabby is as sweet as ever and Romeo is just plain spoiled rotten. He actually just celebrated his 5th birthday! That is one of the most loved animals I have ever had. The kids, Ryan, my friends just love him as much as I do. And Gabby has just fallen in love with Ryan.
We have been having the strangest weather this week. Friday we were in the high 70's. It was crazy. I was loving it. I think everyone around here was loving it. Then the next day, we actually dropped to 30 degrees and snow started to fall. I was at work when I noticed the snowflakes glistening away. This kind of strange weather has been going on all winter. I think its going to get us all sick. But just for a few hours I enjoyed watching it come down. The weather report shows that this week we will have a lot of rain. We are basically having all four seasons in one month. Who would have guessed.
Many have left such sweet comments on that vlog. I tell myself that I want/need to keep working as much as I can, but I'm still dealing with so many mental blocks that it's been kinda tough to put my thoughts together, so thank you for your patience with the cope with the ups and downs that have become so consistent in my life and posts. That's my life now after all:) There have been many days when I smile so big my cheeks hurt, and my heart feels light like it hasn't felt in so long, and then there are other days I feel the crushing grasp of heartache that literally takes my breath away. A lot of my thoughts are deep and heavy. Inquisitive at times. I want answers to questions that I will never get. But I am doing my best to remember the good things in my life. I have Ryan and he is doing his best to make me happy. He does make me smile and laugh a lot which really means a lot to me. He knows I am a mess a lot of the time. But somehow we both are saving each other really. I think he needed to be loved as well. We are trying to create new beginnings. My heart has been changed. In every sense it's been broken, battered and crushed, and these days I really feel so much more deeply than I would've ever thought possible. I just want to be happy. I am too old for anything else. I know not everyone understands and that's ok. They don't have to. But he makes me feel better. And I love him. Having him around feels so easy and natural. I feel like our lives are pieces of the same puzzle. We have known each other since we were kids. And were together before Scott and I and here we are now. I am sure that you will get to know him more in the future.
I know that I have a lot to live for still. I have been terrible with change for years. I like routines, schedules, and certainty. But all these unexpected things that keep happening are just making learn to live more in the moment. I am taking more risks coming out of my comfort zone. It's been a new way of life.
I have so many new goals and hopes for the future. Starting over at my age might seem crazy. It kinda is but I think it brings the opportunity to do things better. To love harder. To try harder. To be a better parent. To work harder. I have always loved fresh starts. And this is a new beginning for me. And really I am just putting one foot in front of the other trying to move on. And that's where I'm at. Just trying to find my way down a new path. Thank you guys for coming along with me. ♥♥♥
Weekly To Dos
- work in planner and calendars.
- make chocolate chip cookies
- Do nails
- Buy houseplant ( sounds silly but I have none! )
- Get seal for pressure cooker from camper
- Pre record some videos
- Make Dr. Apts for kids and myself. Ankle really has been hurting.
- Groom kitty cats
- Crack open an actual book.
- Start new organization project in apartment.
- Look for some new part for wheel area of my car. Ryan put it on my list.
- Make some homemade cleaners. So much healthier and cheaper.
- Go check on a couple of my uncles.
- Start on gallery wall....again.
- Plan a dinner where everyone is here. So hard with all the different schedules.
- Start trying to actually menu plan again.
- Get all the towels washed. I don't take them to be washed like I do the clothes.
- Clean out under kitchen sink
- Replace burnt out light bulbs.
- Wash sliding glass doors.
- pillow for bathtub
- Amazon fire stick ( don't get me started on why )
- New Cookie sheet
Here's some inspiration to take with you throughout the week: