Sunday, June 18, 2017

Quick Little Food Haul | Video |


Hello friends! I haven't been sharing all my hauls here lately but I thought it would be fun to share this little one. Hope you enjoy! 


Thanks for stopping by and checking things out. I should have another haul up later this week! Have a beautiful weekend! 

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Saturday, June 17, 2017

Reality Check...


Happy weekend friends! It feels like it's been forever since I have sat down at my computer and just escaped into just writing...writing what I am experiencing, feeling, doing. I have been looking around at the craziness of life lately and starting to understand that I just have to roll with the busy days. Roll with the slow days when naps are all I seem to fit in on the schedule. Life has changed so much this past year, this past month and even this past month. I have come to accept that plans change sometimes and it's better to go into everything with as much as a positive attitude as possible. 

Every once in a while I get to a point where I simply lack motivation for getting things done. I don't know what really causes it but I know for me, how I feel has a lot to do with life stresses. Since the very beginning of my pregnancy, I have felt anxious, tired, emotional and even stressed at what the future holds. I am beyond excited but still worried. I have let negative energy take over on certain days and let it strip me of all happiness. Which also leads to the lack of motivation I have been feeling. It's difficult to read, hear negativity and not let it affect your life. I cannot help to delete comments and negativity when it shows up on instagram, facebook and in some of my youtube comments. While I understand sharing on youtube gives certain people the ability to judge and spread hate, I have enjoyed it over all. Youtube and this blog has been such a supportive community, but there are days when I know I must pull back. Things will never stop coming at me or my family, so we have to guard our private time more than ever. I have realized that just sharing some of my favorite moments on my private facebook page is better than sharing it with the world only to be judged by people who are not friends. Ryan has even locked down his facebook because of drama and speculation on his life...our life. It's sad that it has come to this but there really is no room in our lives for negativity, for drama, for hate. 

Since quitting my job and being home I have really been trying to  take it slow, but things just seem to come out of nowhere and fill up my days anyways. I have been spending more and more time with Laura and the little kids. Our teenagers seem to always be busy and not wanting to hang out with their parents and family. It's hard to accept at times but as long as they know I love them...and they are happy, thats all that truly matters. Right now the little kids find everything intriguing and inspiring. Fun and new. And Ryan and I have been spending a lot of quality of time together and that doesn't always happen on the busy days. So I am grateful for the days when I am going on a bit of a slower schedule. Actually, I haven't been on much of a schedule at all. I have actually been kinda lost on random days. That's what actually brings me to this post.

I have been slowing down on what I share. On this blog, youtube, instagram. For instance the other day I was at the doctors office and just got one photo in because my DR came in so fast and did everything so fast that I didn't get to film it or get many photos. So I share a picture from the office laying on table, a picture from the first time I heard the heartbeat and a belly shot of another person who is about the same size as I am that was a stock photo. Well you would have thought I committed a crime posting that photo when all I really wanted to do was let everyone know how well the appointment went. I went on and took it down because I just felt like it was bringing too much negativity. I don't think any of us should have to delete things to make ourselves or others feel better but sadly its the case sometimes. I have tons of vlogging footage that I would love to share but I am just keeping it to myself until I feel comfortable sharing again. I do plan on still making videos and hopefully get back on track with this blog but with caution. I have to protect my family. They are the most important part of my life and don't deserve to be dragged through the mud. Enough is enough. Know that I am actively moderating comments here and will only allow those that are kind and understanding. Constructive criticism of my blog and videos is of course allowed and encouraged but negative comments with no purpose other than to spread hate and pain will be not be approved. And these changes are starting to happen now. 

Everything has slowed down and almost stopped in some regards. I have fallen off routines and schedules. I haven't been using my planner as much. I have found myself struggling to just keep up with normal household duties. I am really trying to focus on getting back on track. I have seen too many times what depression and anxiety can do and it's not easy to climb out of. I am going to keep focusing on what really matters and share only what I am comfortable with. This will of course lead to speculation about my health, my family, my relationships but it is what it is. And while I find my motivation and focus there are going to be days when the house is not picked up. When the laundry is not done and I am not less than for not accomplishing those goals and tasks. I am going to keep doing the best I can. I am not going to make promises about posting schedules and things I have figured out. I simply don't have that much planned out. I am content not knowing what each day holds at this moment in time. I have been enjoying being off work but that can't and won't last forever. I actually enjoyed being out with the people in my community and actually miss it some days. But right now, running through the forest with my grandchildren, enjoying evenings with Ryan and listening to my teenagers on the phone ramble on are some of the best moments that fill my heart with love. 

I don't have my shit together every single day and I am not going to pretend. Life can be a real struggle but at the same time so rewarding. I am just hoping to find balance within all of it. There are so many things I want to get done. So many changes I want to make to all areas of my life. I will share when I can, when I feel comfortable. And for those of you who are still around, I love you. Thank you for taking this journey with me. And for those of you who are new, hang around and check things out. :) Hopefully, I will get my crazy life under control where I have more time and energy to share. 

Thank you for being a part of this journey with me.  I can’t wait to see where this path takes me next.  
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Sunday, June 4, 2017

Gender Reveal!!!!! | Video |


Hello friends! I am back finally sharing the gender reveal. I said I would share it today and here it is...it's a quick little video confirming what many of you already thought. Hope you enjoy!



Thank you guys for following along and supporting me. Life has certainly has given me it's share of ups and downs. I never imagined this is where my life would be at this point. Through all the heartbreak, anger, confusion, and even death.....a new life is on the way. I couldn't be more happy! Hope you have a great day! 


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Saturday, June 3, 2017

Fun Gender Prediction Wives Tales! :) | VIDEO |


Hello friends! I hope you are having a wonderful weekend. Before I go on and share the gender of our little baby, I thought we would try out some old wives tales! These were fun....but were they accurate!? Hope you enjoy! 


Thank you so much for stopping by and checking out the video. It's been so hard knowing the sex and not sharing it. Don't worry the next video will be the gender reveal! I'll talk to you soon. xx

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Friday, June 2, 2017

Friday Letters ♥


Happy Friday Friends! I am back with another edition of Friday Letters. Hope you enjoy! 

Dear God, Thank you for another week on this planet. I know you are in control of everything and I am putting all my trust in you. Thank you for listening to my prayers. 

Dear Brittany, I can't always drop everything for you. I know that I have almost every time you needed something. But there are times....like yesterday when I just couldn't do that. That doesnt mean I don't love you. That doesn't mean I am not there for you. It simply means I could not do it. I have loved you from the second I found out I was pregnant to know and every moment in between. Don't ever forget that but understand sometimes I will say no. 

Dear Ryan, I love you sweetheart. It's crazy how people make stuff up about us...about our relationship...about you. It must be hard for some to realize we are together because we want to be together. I love the life we are building and I am so excited about our baby. We are so intertwined and have been since we were in kindergarten. Maybe no one will truly understand but who cares. Thank you for loving me back.

Dear Jackson, I am so happy you are getting some time with grandma. I hope you are making a ton of great memories.  love you so much and I am sorry if I ever made you feel less than at times. I am not perfect but I am very thankful you are my son and I wouldn't change it for anything. 

Dear Laura, You mean the world to me. I know it's strange to some. But you are one of my kids rather people like it or not. I am proud of you. I am proud of how strong you are. I am proud of how hard you work and shuffling kids back and forth. I love you and I will always be there for you and the kids until my last breath. 

Dear New Baby on the Way, helllooooo. I can't wait to meet you. I think you are the same baby...same soul that has been trying to come into the world since 2003. I have thought about you everyday for years. I have asked for forgiveness on so many levels and maybe just maybe with you on the way now, God has forgiven me for my mistakes. I am so excited to welcome you to our loud crazy life. We will love you forever and I can't wait till you are in my arms. 

Dear Mom, thank you for being so supportive. I know you love me. I know that you support me. I really would be lost without you. 

Dear Laci, its been nice talking to you here lately. We need to make time for each other more. I am so happy you are in love and happy! 

Dear Shanna, it breaks my heart what Emily has been going through. I know she has been in a lot of pain....BUT I know it will pass and she will be ok....better in the coming years. I love you guys. You are also my family forever. 

Dear Zane, I think about you often. I hope you are doing ok. I know you miss your dad and a part of me misses him too at times. I know you are smart and strong. Remember, you still have a big future ahead of you. I also hope to send you something special sometime in the near future. Brittany and Jackson ask about you all the time and miss you too. 

Dear Dad, I miss you everyday. I wish you were here. I wish I could put this new baby in your arms. I wish I was sitting around the kitchen table with you laughing. I wish we could listen to your war stories. I wish I could talk to you about everything. I mean I kinda do already but I really do anything just to get a few minutes of your time. I can't wait to see you again one day. 

Dear Jerred, you are my family as well. I hope you are ok...actually I hope you are better than ok. Your family and kids miss you. I hope you come home and really change your life for the better. We love you. 

Dear Blog and Youtube friends, as you can see, I only have the people who mean the absoutle most to me on here today. No long ramblings about Donald Trump or things I hate. Instead just love. And really you guys have helped me focus on just the good so thank you. I love you guys. The amount of support compared to the misinformed haters is leaps and bounds. Thank you thank you thank you. I love you guys right back. 

Thanks for stopping by today. New video coming soon! xx

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Thursday, June 1, 2017

Pregnancy Q & A → 1st Trimester ←


Hello friends! I hope you are having a wonderful evening. I normally post my pregnancy updates on Thursday but today I am switching it up! Don't worry the update will be up tomorrow. :) So I have got a lot of questions regarding this pregnancy and I thought I would just sit down and make this video for you guys! 


Thank you so much for stopping by! I hope you really enjoyed this video. I will do another question and answer sometime in the 2nd trimester. So gather your questions up between now and then and make sure I get them! Have a great night. xx

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Thursday, May 25, 2017

11 Week Pregnancy Update | Video |

Hello friends! I hope you are having a beautiful night. I am back sharing one of my favorite kinds of videos.....my 11th week pregnancy update. I love making these videos and being able to look back and compare weeks. This is such an exciting time in our lives and sharing it with you all is a honor. This is how week 11 went. Hope you enjoy! 


Even though we had a bit of a scare, hearing that sweet innocent heartbeat made everything better. This little baby is growing each day. Everything is changing and I couldn't be happier. Thanks so much for stopping by. I love you guys. 


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Recent Empties | Video |


Hello everyone. It's been a long while since I have shared a recent empties video. I save items up and share them when I have a nice amount. Please don't think I am not rinsing out the milk containers and such if I plan on keeping them. Here are some of the products I recently used up....household, pet and beauty. Hope you enjoy!


Thanks so much for taking the time to stop in. I love you guys and appreciate all your support. Have a great evening. xx

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What I Ate....Pregnancy Edition | Video |


Hello friends! I hope you are having a great day! I am back sharing a what I ate pregnancy edition. I know these are not the same as my old cooking videos but I still enjoyed sharing. Hope you enjoy it too. 


I don't always eat the healthiest or drink enough water but I am trying to eat less processed foods. The changes may seem small but they do count! Thanks for stopping by...I'll see ya soon! xx

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