Monday, February 27, 2017

Week in Review w/ DITL Vlog

Hello friends! I hope you are having a wonderful Monday. I am back today with my latest DITL Vlog and a new week in review. It's been a while since I have got one of these up for you guys. Lots of photos and me rambling on. Hope you enjoy! 

I decided after a while of no videos that I would just come back with a new ditl vlog. I don't plan on doing anymore than one a week if that. I hope to get other videos up as well. Here is a little bit of how things have been going. 

Since I have moved back home so much has happened. I have been through so many life changes. Not all were good or easy either. However, one of the biggest greatest things about being here in Indiana is Brittany. She was a huge part of the reason to come back home. I was tired of missing out on all those big and little things with her. Most days I feel like a taxi driver running her, Jackson and even Maekenzie around. We are always in the car it seems....going from one practice to another or running items back and forth.

 Right now in the middle of the school year there hasn't been a lot of time for fun but it doesn't matter. We are still all getting to spend time with each other and finding joy even in the smallest of things.

I simply need to balance my time more because I miss doing the fun things. We need more family days. We just do. I tend to smile a lot more when the kids are around. The girls and Jackson just bring a new breath of fresh air to my life. And for that alone I am so grateful.

This past week as also hard and sad when I had to pick up Scotts ashes from the funeral home. I never imagined I would have to do that. I am still not sure what to do with him but in time we will figure that out. I think the ripple effect from his death will last a very long time with his kids and grand children. They will never know him and the kids that do remember will always miss him.

Laura and I still spend a lot of time together. I see her daily and it has given me more time with my grand children. They are growing up so fast. I guess I am trying to love Laura and the kids enough for both of us. Laura is one of the best people I know. I also moved back here for her them as well. We are family and I don't think that will ever change. 

I always wanted a houseful of girls. Always. I might not have had them myself but with Laura, her daughters, Ryan's daughter and Brittany along with Brittany's best friend Kenzie I am surrounded with amazing girls. They make me smile all the time. 

I have been struggling to find a good balance between work, kids, the animals, family. Just like the rest of you! On my days off I tend to run errands and clean. The apartment is smaller which helps a lot but even my days off are not just lounging days anymore. 

I am so happy we finally got a vacuum. It was fine borrowing Laura's all the time but its nice having one here. Little by little I am trying to rebuild, grow stronger and more confident. It just feels weird being my age starting over. But it's also a little empowering. 

Some nights around here we enjoy Chinese in bed...

I don't particularly like cooking that much. I guess I got use to not cooking much when I was in the camper. Ryan prefers dinner a little more than I do! But I am slowly getting back in the grocery store again so I can make dinner for us. He's actually bringing back a little stability in my life. And God knows that's a tall order for anyone. 

 I will hopefully have some new food hauls and recipes up soon for you guys too. I also plan on putting up a new tea video sometime soon sharing my favorites. Maybe I'll include a giveaway as well! :)

Life around here has been pretty busy and calm all at the same time. The cats seem to be adjusting to everything just fine. Gabby is as sweet as ever and Romeo is just plain spoiled rotten. He actually just celebrated his 5th birthday! That is one of the most loved animals I have ever had. The kids, Ryan, my friends just love him as much as I do. And Gabby has just fallen in love with Ryan.

Image result for light snow tumblrWe have been having the strangest weather this week. Friday we were in the high 70's. It was crazy. I was loving it. I think everyone around here was loving it. Then the next day, we actually dropped to 30 degrees and snow started to fall. I was at work when I noticed the snowflakes glistening away. This kind of strange weather has been going on all winter. I think its going to get us all sick. But just for a few hours I enjoyed watching it come down. The weather report shows that this week we will have a lot of rain. We are basically having all four seasons in one month. Who would have guessed.

Many have left such sweet comments on that vlog. I tell myself that I want/need to keep working as much as I can, but I'm still dealing with so many mental blocks that it's been kinda tough to put my thoughts together, so thank you for your patience with the cope with the ups and downs that have become so consistent in my life and posts. That's my life now after all:) There have been many days when I smile so big my cheeks hurt, and my heart feels light like it hasn't felt in so long, and then there are other days I feel the crushing grasp of heartache that literally takes my breath away. A lot of my thoughts are deep and heavy. Inquisitive at times. I want answers to questions that I will never get. But I am doing my best to remember the good things in my life. I have Ryan and he is doing his best to make me happy. He does make me smile and laugh a lot which really means a lot to me. He knows I am a mess a lot of the time. But somehow we both are saving each other really. I think he needed to be loved as well. We are trying to create new beginnings. My heart has been changed. In every sense it's been broken, battered and crushed, and these days I really feel so much more deeply than I would've ever thought possible. I just want to be happy. I am too old for anything else. I know not everyone understands and that's ok. They don't have to. But he makes me feel better. And I love him. Having him around feels so easy and natural. I feel like our lives are pieces of the same puzzle. We have known each other since we were kids. And were together before Scott and I and here we are now. I am sure that you will get to know him more in the future. 

I know that I have a lot to live for still. I have been terrible with change for years. I like routines, schedules, and certainty. But all these unexpected things that keep happening are just making learn to live more in the moment. I am taking more risks coming out of my comfort zone. It's been a new way of life. 

I have so many new goals and hopes for the future. Starting over at my age might seem crazy. It kinda is but I think it brings the opportunity to do things better. To love harder. To try harder. To be a better parent. To work harder. I have always loved fresh starts. And this is a new beginning for me. And really I am just putting one foot in front of the other trying to move on. And that's where I'm at. Just trying to find my way down a new path. Thank you guys for coming along with me. ♥♥♥

Weekly To Dos

- work in planner and calendars.
- make chocolate chip cookies
- Do nails
- Buy houseplant ( sounds silly but I have none! )
- Get seal for pressure cooker from camper
- Pre record some videos
- Make Dr. Apts for kids and myself. Ankle really has been hurting.
- Groom kitty cats
- Crack open an actual book.
- Start new organization project in apartment.
- Look for some new part for wheel area of my car. Ryan put it on my list.
- Make some homemade cleaners. So much healthier and cheaper.
- Go check on a couple of my uncles.
- Start on gallery wall....again.
- Plan a dinner where everyone is here. So hard with all the different schedules.
- Start trying to actually menu plan again.
- Get all the towels washed. I don't take them to be washed like I do the clothes.
- Clean out under kitchen sink
- Replace burnt out light bulbs.
- Wash sliding glass doors.

Shopping List

- microwave
- pillow for bathtub
- Amazon fire stick ( don't get me started on why )
- New Cookie sheet

Here's some inspiration to take with you throughout the week:

Thank you guys for stopping by. I love how inspirational, caring and supportive you all have been. I have always said I love this blog. I truly do. This is my home. Its been such a great way to communicate with all of you. You can always leave a comment and let me know how you are doing. Just as many of you have followed my life, I have followed many of yours. I'll see ya tomorrow with a new Tuesday Truths blog post. Have a beautiful and blessed week. xx
Friday, February 24, 2017

Friday Letters ♥

Hello everyone! It's been a while since I have done a Friday Letters. Hope you enjoy. 

:: Dear God, Thank you for another week in this world. I don't understand your plans but I trust you will lead me down the right path. Instead of loosing faith with everything that has happened, I feel even more connected to you. Please keep the kids safe. 

:: Dear Romeo, you are still the family mascot. You are the most lovable sweet cat that anyone could ever hope for. 

:: Dear Work, yesterday sucked. Hopefully today will be better! 

:: Dear New Mascara, I think you just came to life and went on somewhere to coat someone else's lashes. I am going to tear the hall closet apart looking for you. 

:: Dear Trina, you must be so attention starved if you have to share pieces of my email on a public forum. It just makes you look sad, pathetic and desperate. Go away... you have done enough damage. 

:: Dear Freaky Weather, I don't understand what is going on. I feel like this is why our polar bears are dying. The earth is too hot and melting all the ice and snow. I do love it but I know something is just not right. 

:: Dear Ryan, I am so proud of how hard you work. I am so looking forward to our trip in the coming weeks. Thank you for slowly but surely bringing me back to life. I love you. 

:: Dear Nails and Toes, I need to go get you done. It's been a while and it just sounds so nice and relaxing. 

:: Dear Brittany, I am very proud of you. I know how hard you work at school and cheerleading. I am so happy that you are better than I was. Keep it have a big life in front of you. 

:: Dear Car, I don't really like you but I am grateful for you getting me from point a to point b. I feel like I am driving a boat around compared to the Mini Cooper. Please keep working. I promise to change your oil soon. 

:: Dear Gabby, you are such a traitor when Ryan is around. Who's cat are you anyway?

:: Dear Donald Trump, you are a real piece of work. With you I feel like I am watching a giant asteroid coming towards earth and can't do anything about it. I am scared you are going to get us all killed. And look you have your own little doll now. You should be so proud. And I bet it's made in China! :)

:: Dear Mom, I am sure you don't like the Donalds post above, but it's how I feel. However, thank you so much for bringing that stuff up here for me. I love you and I am glad you and Don plan on having some fun. You guys deserve it. 

:: Dear The Crown, I am so hooked on you. Netflix got it right with this show. I just keep watching and watching! 

:: Dear Laura, I love having you around at work. I think it will be a great place for you and I also think if we start serving at night we will really enjoy it. I am so proud of you. And the grand kids. They are all growing up so fast. 

:: Dear SD Card, Why are you giving me such a hard time? I guess I just need to replace you. Might try to format you first to see if it works. 

:: Dear Jackson, I need to get you over here more. We need to get everyone together and have a family night. A night of fun food and games. I miss you sweetheart. Gotta give up some of those fishing days! 

:: Dear Apartment, I am not use to you yet. Things are a bit louder than I am use to. There is not that much space in the kitchen yet you are my home. Little by little I am trying to re-build my life right here. Thank you for giving us a warm safe place to stay. 

:: Dear Dad, I miss you so much that I can't breathe sometimes. I would do anything...absolutely anything to hear your voice. Come see me in my dreams. 

:: Dear Blog and Youtube, I have missed you. I have a lot of work to do to get you caught up and back in good shape. I am excited about the possibilities. 

:: Dear Scott, I can't believe I picked you up from a funeral home. I just can't believe it. All of us wonder what happened and what went so terribly wrong. I hope you are at peace with your family. I hope you made a lot of good memories that you took with you. I will always look after Laura and the kids. Always. 

:: Dear New Computer, you are not as nice as the other one I had but I am thankful for you and I think we will be spending a lot of time together. :) 

:: Dear Maekenzie, you are so cute. I remember when you were little and now to see you all grown up is amazing. Keep doing good in school, college is right around the corner! 

:: Dear Midori, You are still the most amazing planner/journal. I still love you and imagine I always will. 

:: Dear Shanna, thank you for being the best of friends to me. Your advice and comfort has helped me get through so many hard times in my life. You have put a smile on my face so many times and I love you. 

:: Dear towels, got to get you washed today. However, dropping the laundry off last night was a life saver thanks to Ryan. I hate not having a washer and dryer in the apartment. 

:: Dear Abbygale, You are a lot of fun. It's so nice getting to know you!!!  We are all going to have to go out one night! Thanks for being so kind to Laura...she needs more friends. 

:: Dear Kimmy, I am so jealous you are enjoying the sunny days in Florida. Glad you got the vacation you so desperately needed. I love you...and I am still waiting on our wine and cheese date at Hubers!

:: Dear Laundry Guy, Thanks for messing everything up. I seriously wish I could get the $4 tip back. Guess that's what I get for tipping when I dropped it off.  You bleached a black bra. Lost my work shirt. I have to call back in the am. You are fired and I will find someone else to help out.

:: Dear Laci, I wish we talked more. I am proud that you are doing well and seem really in a good place. Call me so we can catch up.

:: Dear Cooper, I miss you. I hope you are well taken care of. If things weren't so messed up, you would be with me where you belong.

:: Dear Body, you feel like a 41 year old body. You hurt and ache all the time but at least I am still breathing. Working out seems to be a thing of the past but I have got to change that. Ankle please stop hurting.

:: Dear Love, I still want to believe in you. I really do.

:: Dear Blog and Youtube friends, thank you for being so supportive, loving and encouraging. I really appreciate each one of you. I have a vlog that should be live later today. It feels good sharing with you guys again. Again...thank you for all your love and support. Sometimes I feel like I am loosing it and then one of you pop in with a sweet comment that melts my heart. I love you guys. Have a great weekend. xx
Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Life & Blog Update

Hello friends. It's been such a long time since I have been on here...chatting with you all. I thought tonight would be perfect for giving you a family update. I was going to post it through a Tuesday Truths blog post but I decided to just sit down and start typing with no real direction. So much has happened since the last time I have been on here. I don't even know where to start. 

Scott is gone. I don't have the words to express everything I feel regarding that situation but he did make an impact on many lives including my own. If you haven't checked out the video about it, you can click right here to check it out. I will be picking up his ashes very soon and I have no idea what I am going to do with them. Laura and I might do something special with them or I might just hold on to them for a while until we decide. Life is so different now. I was just starting to really get on my feet when he passed away. Ryan and I had suffered another loss at that point when I miscarried our baby. Another heartbreaking moment for me. I don't think anyone will ever realize how painful that was for me. I still think of that baby everyday. Let me just say, January was one of the hardest months of my life. However, I was not ready to give up. I am still not ready to give up.  I am pushing forward and moving into a direction of a new life with new goals and hopes for the future. I am ready to move forward with more faith and less fear. 

I  am in a committed relationship with Ryan. I hope to go into our history a little more sometime soon. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and I believe he is here to help me heal, to grow, to make me smile and laugh. To bring some joy to our home. I really didn't think I would be in a full blown relationship so soon but he has helped mend my broken heart. But even more than him it's the kids that have really kept me going. They need me more than ever now. And I need them. All the kids in my life bring such special meaning. I am a better person because of them. And I am so proud that we have all made it through some really tough times and we are still standing together. I don't think God has invented the person to stand in between us. We are a family. We will always be a family. They are the reason I strive to be a better person. They are the only ones who truly hold me accountable and for that alone I am grateful. 

For months I have been without a computer and internet. Part of me really enjoyed it. At that time, haters were going strong making it easy to stay away. However, its been you guys via facebook and instagram that has powered me on and gave me the courage to get back on here and share my life. I have done it for so long. So many different stages of my life have been not only written about but documented through video and I have loved it so much. I have made some life long friends and have had more support than I ever could have asked for. So here I am. New laptop...internet is finally hooked up and I am ready. I am ready to share with you again. You guys have been such a huge part of my life and I would be lying if I said I didn't miss. Because I have. I have forced myself to stay away from the gossip sites. It has taken YEARS to get to the point where I just don't care what they say. They really have no impact on my life at this point. And that goes for some other people as well. There have been so many changes in regards to my family this year. Scott's family is no longer my family. While that is sad and heartbreaking at times, it's made me realize how important my own family is. I have amazing women that surround me. I might have lost a few but I gained many more through the trials and tribulations of my more recent life. They have kept me going on days when it's been unbearable. They have been there to share not only in the troubles but also in the good times. Even though so much has happened, I am truly blessed. 

I am going to pull out the camera and start vlogging and making videos again. I don't know how well it will go at first. I have been trying to decide what I am willing to share. I just don't want to share every single detail of my life anymore. But don't let that scare you off.  I have less time now than I did before because I am working but I plan on throwing myself right back into youtube and this blog. Speaking of the blog....I have a new design that I plan on working on in the very near future. I think a face lift would be nice. I am just trying to make a fresh start. However, all my old videos and blog post will remain up. They are a part of my life and I think it will be nice to have them to look back on from time to time. 

So we will move on into the future together. This blog use to be my home away from home. A place where you could get lost for hours. I want to get back to that. And I hope you guys want it to. Have a beautiful and blessed Wednesday. I'll be vlogging through my day! Thank you guys for being so kind and supportive all these years. I love you guys. ♥♥♥
Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Oh Baby! What News! | New Video |

Hello friends! I know its been a long while since I have been here chatting with you. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss you all. Since my last post in the middle of October, I have been quietly trying to get life figured out. So much has happened and trying to update you of all the latest developments could take a while. :) But I'll try anyway!

So as you can see with the photo above, I am expecting a baby! I bet many of you are wondering all about it. Russell and I were just really good friends. Our relationship was merely hiking and watching movies together but we lacked so much that a relationship needs. Passion, devotion, obsession. We will always love and care for each other but I was still really lonely. Well one thing led to another and I started seeing another ex of mine from the past. This is the ex that I was with before Scott. And while our relationship was a bit crazy when we were kids; we found ourselves in a much better position this time around. Both of us have spent a lot of time trying to get our lives together and make the changes that we needed to make. Once he showed back up in my life, all the passion and love showed right back up. I don't think it ever went away really.

One thing led to another and we recently found out we are expecting a baby. I explain as much as I can in this new video....have a look.

Ryan and I have been through a lot together. A long time ago we lost a baby and its been one of the hardest things I ever had to live with. I feel now at this point in my life, with this pregnancy the universe is getting it right. I feel blessed, happy and can't wait to meet our new baby. We are older this time around and I know we both will make great parents.

I totally feel at peace with this pregnancy. I think God has great things in store for us. I know many of you have questions so the next video will be a sit down answering as many as I can. Feel free to leave them on this blog post, and any other social media where you can track me down!

I am going to be doing my best to get things back in order with youtube and this blog. I am hoping by the first of the year I will be back to my normal posting schedule bringing you along with me and this pregnancy. Plus so much more.

Thank you guys for being patient with me. I am doing great. The kids are all doing great and we are all over the moon about this new bundle of joy coming in our lives in August of next year. Thank you for all your well wishes. It has truly meant the world to me. I love you guys.

I'll see ya soon!

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Saturday Ramblings

Image result for coffee tumblr gif

Happy Saturday friends! I hope you are getting along well with your day. I didn't have a chance to get Friday Letters up so I thought I would just come say hi and share a few thoughts bouncing around in my head. Hope you enjoy! 

* We woke up to much cooler weather. Yes, I know it's October but the last week or so it's been really warm. That changed overnight. I actually turned on the heat as quick as I got up. Burrrrrrrrrrr

* I worked a lot yesterday. I did a 10.5 hour shift and my body today is making me pay for it. My hip is really hurting. I feel like I am falling apart. I actually called in today just so I could rest and not hurt it more. I tossed and turned all night because of how badly it was bothering me. Might need a nap later. 

* I'm not sure if Scott ever paid the spousal support yesterday. I forgot to call the attorney. I doubt he did but it would be nice to not have to worry about the money he is suppose to pay. All I can say about it is, if he hasn't paid it, we are 100% heading back to court. And that will cost him even more money. Hopefully we can add interest, lawyers fees and garnish his wages. That's probably the only way I am going to be paid on time. It would be nice if he could just not be a loser for a short amount of time to get it done. I'm probably asking too much. 

* Gabby has been sneezing a lot and got me worried. I think the cooler weather is getting to her too. Hopefully it clears up before I have to take her to the VET. 

* I need to go to the grocery store today. I needed to go Thursday and Friday as well but that didn't happen. I am going to take a bunch of Advil and hope my hip stops hurting long enough to go. Plan on sharing the haul in a new video...stay tuned!

* I need to dye my hair. The grey is really coming out which doesn't really make me happy. Hopefully I can mark that off my to do list next week. 

* I know I am so behind on videos. I am not alone. There is only a real door on the bathroom so its complicated to say the least. I am really wanting to get into an apartment as soon as possible. 

* I bought a new blogger template but I am not sure when I will have the time to change it around. Maybe next week sometime. I thought it was time for a change. Can't wait to share it with you! 

* I am still undecided about switching jobs. I think every job has it's good and bad points. Just need to make more money. Decisions decisons. 

* I have been loving my bullet journal. I work in it daily and it really does keep my head straight. If you haven't checked out the basics I have this video sharing how it works. 

* My sister seems to do be doing just fine down in Florida. I was pretty worried about her but she keeps checking in on Facebook saying shes ok. Glad to know she is safe and sound. 

I hope you all have a great day. I am going to get cleaned up and slowly make my away around the store. Praying for a pain free day. xx
Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Tuesday Truths

 - Yesterday was really long and hard at work. When the shift is over, I just want to run right out of there. However, yesterday it took longer to get out of there and it totally sucked.

- I am not sure why the men in my life all love Ancient Aliens. I admit, sometimes it's interesting but a lot of nights, it totally puts me to sleep!

- The cooler mornings are interesting. I am up and out super early and I do really enjoy being cold. Somehow, Someway, I just have to figure out how to deal with it.

- I have been loving all the new friends I have been making. It's strange if you would have told me this would be my life a year ago, I would have thought you were crazy. But I think I am exactly where I need to be and around who I need to be around in this exact moment.

- I really miss the cats and dog. I don't think a new puppy will change that either. But when I move, I am for sure getting a dog. I feel lost without one and it's something/a goal that I am looking forward to accomplishing.

- Internet still sucks. But it doesn't really matter. I am so tired at the end of the day, I just don't feel like making videos. Hopefully I can make a few in the same day to make it easier. I just need to get to that point. Sorry.  I have reviews I need to get working on. I have so many videos in my brain. I just need a little more space....a most importantly time.

- I have a ton of voicemails to check. Yep... not something I do very often. Might want to text instead friends and family.

- I haven't been eating all that healthy but I sure have been losing weight. I have been getting in over 5 miles a day and it's paying off in how my clothes feel. I guess a divorce and new job is bound to help any woman lose weight. And I don't so much mind!

- My fitbit is still saving my life. I looooove it. I love all the information it gives me and I love the silent alarms that wake me each morning. Follow Along: Kisha Jaggers. And for those of you who have asked. Yes I wear it all the time and charge it nightly when I am in the shower.

- Ex Husband News → still a loser. Not understanding how the divorce worked out. He is suppose to pay $500 on the 1st & 15th. And this is too hard for him. Hes not making the kind of money he use to make ( idiot should and can go back into the car business anytime he wants. ), I'm a bitch, he only makes 490 a week....yada yada yada. Supposedly the stolen iphone he took from me is now off. ( Bullshit ) and he hates me. All just EXCUSES. I guess we just have to go back to court and he can cry to the judge all while paying my attorney fees. What an asshole. Sister in law still a know it all who actually doesn't know what the hell she is ever talking about. * Nothing new there.

- Russell did laundry today and I couldn't have been more grateful. I bitched, moaned and groaned most of the evening. Body hurt, tired and grumpy. Thankfully he was able to put a smile on my face along with helping out with a lot of the things that needed done around here. I swear he really has been a big help, comfort and love since all this has happened.

- I am in the middle of the woods and my worst fear right now is hitting a deer in the mornings...and evenings. I see them all the time. Makes me nervous as hell.

- I am so proud of my kids. I don't think I have been the best mom but somehow in despite of me, they are amazing. I am blessed because of them and I don't take it for granted at all.

- The bed in this camper is seriously one of the softest beds I have ever slept on. Its like a big soft feather bed that I snuggle right down in. Looking forward to my next day off when I can stay in it a little longer. But I never sleep in that late anymore and that sucks!

- The coffee this morning smells amazing. Time for another cup! I think I have an addiction to coffee at this point. Those little folgers tea bags work great for us and they actually make amazing cups of coffee.

- Gabby is in desperate need of a bath. A task I don't really want to do after a long day at work but I think it might just be happening later this evening. Or not... but sometime soon.

- Life is still a bit challenging for me. I am still settling into a life I was not expecting. I wish I would have been more prepared. For me, I just didn't plan on things ending. I really didn't. Do any of us really go into or stay in a relationship that we are sure it's going to end? No I don't think so. But it would have been smarter to have planned out some security for myself. Gotta learn from my mistakes for sure. I am not scared any longer. That's been a blessing on it's own. I am smiling more. Feeling more confident as I move through each day. I am allowed to have hard days....sad days....but I am just not allowed to give up.

“You can find Iain Thomas here.

Thank you guys for stopping by. Feel free to let me know how your day is going....have a great day!  See ya soon. xx

Friday, September 30, 2016

Friday Letters

Dear God, Thank you for another week on this planet. Thank you for helping me do better. Thank you for protecting my kids. I sure hope you hear my prayers. Dear Fall, You showed up on the official day and haven't left. I am seeing leaves fall, feeling the cold temperatures. and I actually love it! Dear Romeo, I am sorry you are still stuck with him. I hope to rescue you back soon. I miss you. Dear Jackson, I can't believe how fast you are growing up. Please do good in need an education! I love you. Dear Work Friends, you all make me smile and laugh so much! I love you guys! Dear Indiana, I am actually alarmed by the amount of Trump signs I keep seeing. Very disappointing. Glad we are not a battleground State.  Dear Shanna, sorry we haven't talked as much. I miss you. Just been busy! Dear Brittany, you are the cutest ever. I love you. Hope you have fun tonight! Dear Camper, I appreciate you. I truly do. You sit in the most beautiful place with a beautiful view. The only thing I truly miss is a big bath tub. Makes me want to go to a hotel just to take a long bath! Dear Jordan, I love you.  Dear Mom, glad I got to see you. I wish it was under different circumstances but it was nice having you here. Dear Purse, I really need to clean you out and get you organized. A messy purse is a messy head. Dear Satellite Internet, You suck....but I guess it's better than nothing. Dear Russell, I love your hair, body, smile and personality. It's so nice having you back in my life. Dear Little Turtle, I really wanted to keep you. I hope you have a long happy life. It's a big world. Dear Laura, I hope to see you tomorrow! Glad you are sounding a little more happy! You are a wonderful person and I am so happy you are in my life. Dear Emily, I am in shock you are married again but I am happy for you! Dear PO Box, thank you for truly making my life easier. I like not having my mail come to the house. I'll come check you soon. Dear Grandma, It was so hard saying goodbye to you. I will forever love and miss you. Come see me in my dreams. Dear Mornings, you are not so easy for me. But having a comfy soft bed with no one snoring has changed everything. I have been waking up happy, rested and ready for a new day! Dear Cooper, I truly miss you. I didn't know our lives would turn out the way they did. I really hope you are ok and happy. Dear Fitbit, I love you. I think you are one of the greatest inventions ever! Dear Donald Trump, I wish you would just go away. Actually I wish I could put a parachute on you and my ex husband and push you both out of a plane far far away from here. Dear Daily Mail, you are still one of my biggest online addictions. Why I think you are the news, I don't know. I spend way to much time with you! Dear Body, I think you are enjoying the mini workouts you are getting now. However, I do feel older and you just don't feel like you use to. You hurt more. Guess that's just life.   Dear Laci, it was nice seeing you. Glad you are doing good. Dear Youtube, I wish I had more time to dedicate to you. It's not easy being in such a small place, with no actually doors except on the bathroom plus less time. But I promise I am trying to get back at it....on my own schedule... in my own time. Dear Harvest Home Coming, I am so excited about you! I can't wait to go walk around, go through the booths and eat yummy foods. Dear Art, thank you for everything you have done and continue to do for our kids. You are a good dad. Sorry I haven't always seen that but I know you love them. I'm proud of you. Dear Winter & Snow, I am seriously scared of you. Dear Dad, I miss you. I bet in less than 40 years we will see eachother again. I felt safe with you. I think about you everyday. I wish you were here right now....this second. Maybe you are. I really don't know but would love for you to come see me again in my dreams. Watch out for grandma Mary please. Dear Bakery, thank you for all your sound advice and mean comments. When you guys get it wrong you really get it wrong don't you? None of you make my decisions and never will. Dear Self, repeat to yourself over and over that everything is going to be ok. There is nothing to be scared of. Then remember that God is leading the way. Have confidence in yourself and your situation. Dear Gabby, I am glad you seem like your old self now. I think you like being the only kitty cat around! All the attention goes to you! I love you sweet kitty. Dear Kimmy, thank you for everything. I love you and I am so thankful for you. Family means everything. I am so happy to have you and your brother and sister in my life. Dear Blog/Youtube Friends, Thank you guys for being so kind and supportive. I am so amazed by all the kindness from you guys. Thanks for stopping by tonight. Have a wonderful weekend. I'll see ya soon! xx

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